The Auto Writer

Ritual disembowelment is an ancient Japanese rite once practiced by samurai warriors.

You may not hear anyone make the audacious claim that the Toyota Motor Corporation is in its twilight years despite recording a multi-billion dollar loss at the end of its last fiscal year, or because the automaker is currently embroiled in an engineering and publicity nightmare involving faulty accelerator pedals. That latter problem has led to Toyota pulling eight of its top-selling models from the market until a fix can be found.

Ritual Sacrifice

But you have to wonder what is really going on behind closed boardroom doors in Tokyo as well as in the company’s Torrance, California sales headquarters. My wild imagination sometimes gets the best of me when I observe desperate scenes like the one now unfolding.

To wit, I can envision a Tokyo to Torrance teleconference call taking place with a deeply remorseful Japanese engineer sitting cross-legged nearby ready to participate in a ritual disembowelment (obligatory seppuku) in a bid to atone for his part in the fatal engineering flaw.

As horrified American executives look on from the other side of the Pacific, a stone-faced Japanese manager gives his nod and the bloody deed is quickly carried out. The screen soon fades as the second part–the customary follow up beheading by a skilled swordsmen–completes the ritual, sweeping away Toyota’s shame and the engineer’s head.

Like I said, I do have a vivid imagination.

Dagger Prepared

Even so, a certain dagger is now being prepared by Toyota’s chief rival, GM, who sees a window of opportunity in the midst of someone else’s misfortune. That dagger comes in the form of its move to poach scared Toyota and Lexus owners by offering them a $1000 cash incentive and low interest rate financing to switch to a GM brand.

“We decided to make this offer after receiving many e-mails and calls from our dealers, who have been approached by Toyota customers asking for help,” GM said in a statement. GM’s offer will run through February 28.

Customers can apply the incentive to pay off their Toyota or Lexus leases while enjoying zero percent financing on most 2009 and 2010 models. While it may seem that GM is delivering a fresh kick to Toyota, conquest incentives are routinely practiced in the ultra-competitive American marketplace particularly when it comes to the sale of new cars.

Ford Follows

Following GM’s announcement early Wednesday afternoon, the Ford Motor Company matched GM’s incentive and extended it to include all Toyota, Lexus, and Scion owners. Further, Ford included Honda and Acura owners with their strategy.

Do not think for a moment that other automakers are not lining up to take their own jabs at Toyota. According to The New York Times, one Honda dealership near Dallas changed their electrical sign to read, “Our gas pedals don’t stick!” in a bid to siphon off worried Lexus and Toyota owners.

Break out the paring knives!

Photo Credit: Wikipedia file photo